Treatment

Our first round of treatment was unsuccessful. I’m not going to say failed, because I am watching my language. Even my RE was disappointed. All of our numbers looked promising. So we get to try again. I am changing my mantra from “No baby this month” to “we get to try again.” We are making a change to the medication we are using, as my RE felt that my lining was a little thin. As I was sitting on the exam table, I thought “how did this become my life.” It has become the norm to talk about ovulation, endometrial lining, egg count. I have had 5 ultrasounds in a month. I am a pro at putting my feet in stirrups. I know that I need to bring socks because my feet often get cold when I wait. I have to make sure my bladder is full or empty depending on what the ultrasound is meant to see or do. At the end of 2017, all I wanted for 2018 was a baby. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. As 2018 comes to a close, I am trying not to focus on what we don’t have. I am focusing on continuing to take steps. Small steps of 2% change. I can’t say what 2019 will bring. I am not terribly optimistic that this time next year will be any different. But we will keep trying.

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