Before you were born, I started dreaming of your life and what you would be like. I hoped that you would be smart and silly, like your cousins Henry and Caleb. We knew you would have a big head like your dad. I wondered if you would be as hard headed as him, as well. Your dad and I would fight over whether you would be a Packers fan or a Bears fan (a Packers fan, of course). You would love baseball and be a Cubs fan. I felt you move for the first time during the World Series. I hoped you would be tall and play football. Your dad made fun of me once while I was carrying you, because Eric Church’s “Like Jesus Does” came on the radio. I began to cry; (when didn’t I cry when I was carrying you?) That song was played when your dad danced with Nana at our wedding. It made me think of your wedding and how we would pick a song and dance. Now I wonder if some girl out there might take a little longer to find her soulmate because you aren’t here. I wonder if you would have been a good sleeper or if you would have kept me and your dad up all night. Would you have been a daddy’s boy or would you have preferred me? Would you have laughed and giggled with your Crazy Grandma? I wonder who you would have looked like. Your dad thought you had my lips and you definitely had his nose. I wonder if your feet would have continued to stay big. We aren’t sure where you got that trait. I wonder about the color of your eyes. I hoped you would be a snuggler and love to read books with me. I would have taught you to love Harry Potter, and The Lord of the Rings. How could you not? They were the theme in your nursery. I will never know these things. But I do know that I will always love you. And you will always be my perfect, handsome, little man. Your dad loves you too. We will always keep a space for you in our hearts.