Here is how my life was changed forever. On April 3, 2017, I woke up early because I had to go pee. This was the norm for me, because I was 9 months pregnant. I noticed a little bit of blood and was a little concerned. I called the on call doctor for my OB’s office. She asked me when I last felt the baby move and I couldn’t remember. My worry suddenly increased tenfold. She suggested I come in to the hospital to be checked. So I woke up Kyle. We both showered and headed to Dublin. As we made the final turn, I took his hand and asked him to reassure me that everything was fine. He squeezed my hand and agreed that we would most likely be heading home within a few hours. How much I wish this would have been true. As soon as I was taken to triage, a nurse attempted to find Lincoln’s heartbeat and but only mine could be heard. After a midwife came in to do an ultrasound and doctor verified that my baby was gone, I began sobbing. What had just happened? Only 24 hours before I was putting the finishing touches on my son’s nursery and now I was grappling with the idea that I was going to have to go through the pain of labor with none of the reward. The next several hours went by in a blur with constant checks from my nurse. Christa was a bright spot in the storm I was living. She kept Kyle and me afloat. At 9:16 pm, my Lincoln came into the world silently. He weighed seven pounds and 4 ounces and was twenty inches long. We marveled at his big feet. I held him twice and kissed him goodbye, on the same day he came into the world. We left the next day without him. My goal now is to put one foot in front of the other and figure out how to survive without my first born. I hope over the next months that this blog will help me on that journey and it will help others to see they are not alone.